Relation-shopping, or Internet dating as it is commonly known, has to be fertile ground for social science studies for a variety of disciplines. The “dating” part of the exercise is probably a misnomer, because most of what goes on is trying to get a date, avoiding dating certain people and getting frustrated at the whole process. I know, because I’ve had an extended run at it. Without any pretense as to the ‘scientific’ about my observations, I’m enough of an R-Shop veteran to make a few tentative conclusions about the whole process.
Here’s a shocker: There’s a LOT of lying about marital status, occupation, body type and myriad other stuff. But, you know what’s weird about it? The women are probably worse than the men for dishonesty. You should hear some of the “explanations” when they’re out-ed. I think guys at least have sufficient conscience to be sheepish about being caught in a lie. Not so for some of the ladies.
Despite the potential advantages of numbers presented by the Internet, the Meet Market seems to provide little improvement in the success factor for partnering up. I see certain, clearly high-value candidates, pop up on my screen month after month. When clearly great looking, wealthy and accomplished women, exposed to a broad market of partners, can’t get satisfactorily hooked up, it suggests there’s more to it than just the “distribution” angle.
Perhaps the reason can be found in this (maybe satirical, maybe not) observation in one of the chat forums: “We all think we’re (slimmer and) better looking than we actually are; we all think we deserve better than we’re getting; and we don’t understand why others don’t appreciate us like they should”. I’m certain I’m as guilty of that dynamic as anyone. But I just can’t understand why my mailbox is full of messages from 64 year-old grandmothers who love gardening (I’m 58 and hate it).